Understanding and Managing Biting Behavior in Young Children

Biting is by far one of the most challenging behaviors to try to manage in young children.  Whether it is happening at home, on playdates or at daycare, having a better understanding of why young children bite can make finding strategies that work to eliminate it much easier.  Let's dive into the world of biting, exploring its causes—fear, frustration, or sensory needs—and effective strategies to curb this behavior.

The Young Brain and Biting Triggers: To comprehend biting, it helps to have a basic understanding of brain development.  I'm a big fan of the way Dan Siegel describes brain development in his book The Whole Brain Child.   He uses the analogy of an upstairs and a downstairs brain.  The downstairs is primitive, instinctual and emotional.  The upstairs brain is the analytical part of the brain (at least the left side).  I often tell parents that toddlers live in the downstairs brain -- it's all about emotions.  Preschoolers are down there too, but they are building a rickety set of stairs and poking around the upstairs brain.  Having said that, they tumble down the stairs into the downstairs brain when those big emotions hit.  This is important to understand as biting is often a response to the fight or flight response in the primitive brain.  And just an FYI, kids don't really reside in the analytical part of their brain until around the age of 5-7 depending on the child.    

Causes of Biting.  Here are the most common causes of biting in young children:

• Fear: Biting may result from a child feeling their personal space is invaded.  I see this frequently in daycare situations.  One friend gets too close to another triggering fear and the subsequent fight or flight response--biting is most definitely the fight response.
• Frustration: Instances like toy disputes or denied requests can trigger bites.  This is often seen with siblings or on playdates.  
• Sensory Input: Random bites during play may indicate a need for oral sensory stimulation.  These are those bites that seem to come out of nowhere.  Sometimes it is when a little one is excited during some rough housing or in the midst of a hug.  In this instance, it is a sensory need. The brain is saying 'I need input!'  It's just unfortunate that your shoulder needs to be there at that moment.  

Factors that Can Influence Biting.  There are other factors that can influence biting including:  

• Limited Verbal Skills: Toddlers may lack words to express needs or frustrations.  As a result, they use their bodies to communicate.
• Sensory Overload: Busy environments may overwhelm children, leading to biting.  Overwhelmed brains struggle to make good choices.  
• Anxiety and Transitions: New settings or life changes can increase biting incidents.  Think fight or flight.  If a child is anxious and feeling unsafe, they are going to be more likely to do something to keep themselves safe if their tendency is fight mode like hitting or biting.
• Sleep Disturbances: Physical discomfort or lack of sleep may contribute to biting.  Sleep plays a key role in a child's mood during the day.  Disrupted or lack of adequate sleep leaves their wells empty making it more challenging to manage emotions.   
• Teething:  Teething can cause a little one to want more sensory input to help alleviate their pain and discomfort.  

Strategies for Addressing Biting.  Here are some tips for managing biting in young children:

• Vigilance and Recognition: The first step is to be vigilant.  If you have a little one who has bitten another child, you are going to want to stay close to 1) keep everyone safe and 2) try to identify biting triggers. For example, is it occurring as a result of a toy dispute; does it happen with the same child or the same area; do they start to show defensive of fear responses when other children enter their personal space.  Recognizing the trigger event makes it easier to implement strategies.
• Coaching in the Moment: Intervene when a child shows signs of fear or frustration, offering guidance and modeling appropriate communication.  For example, if you notice that your child appears anxious when other children enter his personal space, discuss and model proactive strategies that he can use, e.g., 'Is Tommy too close to you?  You can tell Tommy 'move.'  You want to be sure to coach the other child as well, e.g., 'Tommy, you are too close to Joey and he doesn't like it.  He is asking you to move.'  This strategies helps educate both children on positive social interactions and respecting other's personal space.
• Sensory Input Solutions: Provide a chewy tube or chewy foods to fulfill oral sensory needs, reducing the urge to bite.  Keeping the chewy tube on your child can make it easier to redirect them when you see that they are needing oral motor input.  I do not recommend lanyards or the like!  I like the tip I learned from a smart mom many years ago.  She bought her little one a vest and and attached the chewy tube with a carabiner clip.  When he seemed to be seeking oral motor input, she would redirect him to his chewy tube saying 'You may chew on this'
• Oral Motor Work: If your little one seems to be looking for a lot of oral motor input such as chewing on toys, books, etc., you may want to incorporate some extra oral motor work into your daily routine.  For example, including chewier foods or activities like drinking applesauce through a straw to engage oral muscles during meals.

Understanding the causes behind biting and implementing effective strategies is crucial for parents and caregivers. By recognizing triggers, staying vigilant, and offering appropriate solutions, you can help your child navigate their emotions and diminish biting behavior. If you found this information valuable, consider liking and subscribing for more parenting support. Feel free to share your questions or content ideas in the comments. Until next time, happy parenting!