Tips for Toddlers and Preschoolers Who Struggle with Transitions

Transitions with toddlers and preschoolers can be the WORST, am I right?!  Trying to get them in the car after a fun filled day at the playground or leaving the mall can lead to some big emotions in young kids who want to keep the fun coming.  In this blog post, I'm going to share just why transitions are tough for many young children as well as some helpful insights and practical tips for smoother transitions for both you and your child.

Let's start with WHY transitions can be tough for young kids and much of it has to do with development:

• First, toddlers and preschoolers lack a sense of time making terms like "five minutes" confusing.  Did you know that kids typically understand 'before' and 'after' around the age of 4?!   As a result, giving time warnings is not an effective strategy for transitions with young children.
• Young children are also going through several different social emotional stages that can impact transitions. They are really exploring power and control and, no, not to try to piss you off but to gain a larger understanding of their world.  You can learn more about these different development stages in this YouTube video.
• You also want to consider your child's temperament.  Some kids are laid back, easy and willing to go with the flow.  Other kids are more rigid or have a higher need for control.  Understanding this and pre-planning strategies that are sensitive to this can make transitions go much more smoothly.  You can learn more about the various temperament types and traits here.  
• And finally, we as grown ups need to acknowledge that young kids have their own tasks and need closure on activities. Failing to do so and abruptly ending an activity or event is a sure fire recipe for a meltdown.

So what can you do to try to prevent those big emotions that result from transitions?  Here are some tried and true proactive strategies for smooth transitions with your child:

1. Front-load with Choices: Offer choices throughout the day to share control and reduce the feeling of loss during transitions. Keep it simple and incorporate choices into daily routines.
2. Provide Sensory Input: Precede activities with sensory input to calm the brain. Jumping, running, or playing outside can regulate their sensory systems, making transitions more manageable.
3. Visual Picture Schedule: Create a visual schedule outlining daily activities. Refer to it frequently, helping your child understand the sequence of events and fostering better listening skills. You can learn more about them here.
4. Use Visual Timers:  Employ visual timers to represent the passage of time. Apps or physical timers with a visual representation can aid toddlers, especially those around 2.5 to 3 years old, in understanding transitions.
5. Integrate Transition Songs:  Incorporate transition songs into routines. Music can make transitions enjoyable, turning potential resistance into a more positive experience.
6. Transitional Objects:  Introduce transitional objects, like a stuffed animal or a special item, to accompany your child during transitions. This provides comfort and eases the move from one activity to another.
7. Implement "First This, Then That":  Communicate the sequence of events using "first this, then that." This simple language helps toddlers comprehend the upcoming transitions more easily.
8. Handling Screen Transitions:  Avoid using screens as a quick fix before transitions. Instead, opt for sensory activities to engage them. Save screens for less time-sensitive situations to reduce resistance.

If your child experiences a meltdown despite your best efforts, follow the 3C's approach: Calm, Connect, and Correct. Help them regulate their big emotions first, connect and make sure they feel safe seen and hear, THEN you can correct/redirect to a different activity.  You can learn more about this process here.  

My last tip is to be patient with both yourself and your child.  Remember that they are learning and so are you!  Proactively approaching transitions by understanding your child's developmental stage, simplifying communication, and respecting their individuality will over time lead to smoother transitions for both of you.