Moving out of your comfort zone.

So, for those that are unaware, I have started my own business as a parent coach and digital content creator. I am just at the beginning of this journey and, so far, it has been an emotional roller coaster. While I am super excited about this endeavor, I must be completely honest: most of the time, I feel overwhelmed, unequipped and want to throw in the towel in. But why? I’ve been coaching parents with young kids for over twenty years. I have the skills. I have the experience. I can do this, right? It’s because moving out of our comfort zone requires two things: change and a new skill set. Let’s be honest about what change is…it’s a bitch. Fact: if change was easy, I would be 60 pounds lighter and work out every morning for an hour (which I might add has been written in my journal at 6 am for over two years and hasn’t happened yet). Change starts with our mindset, right? Making a commitment, self validating, taking actionable steps. It is so much easier to sit on the couch and binge watch some stupid show (feel free to leave your binge suggestions in the comments…just in case). I think the thing that makes change so hard is that last bit: taking actionable steps. After all, I didn’t become a social worker to learn all this technology and businessy kind of stuff. I became a social worker to empower people and change lives, not to learn how to create a website on SquareSpace.

Here’s what I know for sure, I am most likely to want to throw the towel in when I am doing something for which I do not understand or have tools for: tech, legal mumbo jumbo, integrating widgets (whatever the hell they are). Isn’t this true about parenting? We keep doing what we do even though we want to do better. We read about what to do to make things better, but we never find the time or energy to implement the strategy or practice it. Change requires energy, but who has that when they have kids? We must start small.

So, what is the first step? We start by adding tools to our tool box. If I can learn how to create a website, you can learn a new tool to help your child talk or maybe to diminish tantrums. Again, we must start small. If you are anything like me, you want all the answers, tools and knowledge NOW. I also know that when I try learn or do it all now, I get overwhelmed and end up on the sofa that has so comfortably adjusted to my body and comforted me when I give up.

But not this time. I’m breaking up with the sofa (at least during the week). As we work on adding tools that will facilitate the change we desire, we are going to do things differently: This time we are going to have gratitude, patience and grace with the process and we are going to stop beating our damn selves up. So, let’s move ourselves out of our comfort zone this week by setting our intentions:

• Let’s try to add one tool to our toolbox this week that will improve our lives. In my case, it may be learning how to integrate ConvertKit with SquareSpace (super exciting, I know). In your case, maybe it is changing the way you respond to your child when they are screaming. Or maybe it is waiting for them to tell you what they want instead of you just doing it for them so they learn the power of initiation.

• Let’s practice our new tool and master it before we try adding more and overwhelming ourselves.

• Let’s be patient with ourselves knowing that we are learning and there will be lots of mistakes before success.

So what is your intention for the week? What are you committing to work on? If you are stuck and need help with a tool, please let me know…I’ve got plenty that I am willing to lend to you. We’ve got this.